I desperately wish I had God-awful vision.

March 31, 2011

I've been buying fake glasses since I was in 6th grade. I remember getting my first "Lisa Loeb " pair at Warehouse that my mom eventually hid because she thought they would cause me to go blind. Which, I suppose was inadvertently my plan so that I would actually need them. Kind of like this other seemingly self-destructive idea I had when I loved raspy voices so much that I used to scream at the top of my lungs out of the third story window of our house until I sounded like a 75 year old chain-smoker. Unfortunately, my subconscious scheme never panned out and to this day I still have exceptional eyesight. Bummer. Thankfully, there are people out there like me who don't think it's totally whack to pretend you can't see, and still manufacture faux spectacles! But don't worry mom, I'm not going to give myself cataracts, because now I just knock the lenses out and look like even more of a lunatic!

But to every thing there is a season, and this season things are gonna change. (Or however that quote goes)
The Lisa Loeb's had a good run . . .

The Nerdy Readers came and went . . .

But now, ladies and gentleman...Sally Jessy Raphael is back in the building!
And my inner fake plastic glasses connoisseur can barely wait for these little gems to come in the mail!
These babies actually hold sentimental value to me, because these exact frames were a part of my very first memory from my life, EVER. I swear! On my second birthday, April 28th 1987- I vividly remember scooting down the steps on my bottom in footed pajamas when my mom came walking upstairs with the legit RED Sally Jessy's (complete with a bad perm, sorry Cindy) and said "Bethany, you're 2 today!," and handed me a pack of "days of the week" underpants. I suppose she was insinuating that it was time to skip town on the Huggies....but nevertheless, I n e v e r forgot those red glasses! And by the grace of UPS, soon I shall be donning mine. Isn't it wonderful how everything comes full circle?

But wait, there's more! As it turns out, Hogwart's was not just a place for little Warlock tweens to make-out under their invisible capes- it was a fashion house! Or it should've been, because in Spring 2011 it's all about the ill Harry Potter's! Well, maybe it won't be ALL about them, but I will sure have a pair. I've been keeping tabs on round sunglasses (like the ones in my post below) but I figured if I want to look like a son-of-a-witch during the day, then I might as well get a pair that I can wear at night. Hermione, you got nothin on me girl....
Urban Outfitters Harry Small Round Readers $10

To close this post with a tad of normalcy, I would like to point out that this pair of sunglasses are also cute. THE END.Ray-Ban Retro Cat Sunglasses $135

"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow mindedness." - Mark Twain


  1. My love for fake readers began in middle school as well, I would like to thank Claire's for making that possible.

  2. You are such a good writer, seriously! My new favorite blog bc you are such an entertaining writer! Love you in glasses, would love you in the Sally Jessy's and the Harry Potters, basically love you in all fashions bc you and Heather are the only ones who call pull off ANYTHING

  3. Thanks for sharing that story with the world. And btw, I think I still have those glasses....should I start wearing them again? Just checking.

  4. Thanks Amanda, i know my grammar and punctuation is awful but my head moves way more quickly than my hands. You def motivated me to do this!

    Mom- where are the glasses!! Please stick them in the mail!!

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