Isn't she lovely

Once I decided to make this blog public, I told myself to just write what I want and hope that people like it. If they do- that's awesome, and if they don't- that's fine too (not really, but whatever). Part of that meant agreeing that I wouldn't censor too much, water down my thoughts, and most importanty make excuses/ apologize for what I write. However, this needs to be prefaced. The way I will justify this wickedly superficial and embarassingly immature post is by classifying the way I feel about shallow things as a vice. Some people gamble, some people drink everyday, some people smoke, hell- some people smoke crack. Everyone has thier own outlet, thier own unhealthy escape. All things with a good aesthetic happen to be mine. Looking at pretty people in good clothes IS my crack. I could go on and on trying to convince you that I care about more than material/worldly things, but 1. after reading this you won't believe me, and 2. I know where my heart really is, this website is just for fun. That being said, welcome to my 16 year old mind...

While I am 99.999% sure I am not gay, (because I'm married to a man who I am madly in love with) I determined early on that girls are much more fun to look at than guys. Not in a sexual way, just in general. When I was growing up I never ever had a single Backstreet Boy, or Nysnc, or Brad Pitt poster on my walls or in my locker. Mainly because I thought they were all unattractive and the cheesiness of 5 guys in matching outfits singing in an airplane hanger disgusted me. So my personal spaces were always flanked with pictures of girls. The only exception to this was the brief time when I loved Jonathan Taylor Thomas so much that I wrote his name with a white-out pen out all over my L.L. Bean backpack. Which I really regretted the next year when I no longer liked him anymore and my mom refused to buy me a new one as a consequence for defacing my property with I HEART JTT graffiti. Come to think of it, he was really pretty ...maybe that's why I was so enamored. This fixation goes for "normal" girls as well. My best friend used to always get mad at me because we'd be at a party and I'd walk up to a girl I didn't know and say "I have to tell you, you're sooo pretty!" I didn't mean it to be fake or shallow, I just felt compelled to let her know. That way, when she saw me staring at her from across the room, she wouldn't think I was some kind of Craigslist killer. I was never jealous of anyone for their looks, after all, they were doing me a favor by providing eye candy! My husband thinks I am a lesbian because if a pretty girl walks past us, I will turn around for a second look- "so sad to see you go, but so nice to watch you walk away!" I wish I didn't care so much, but a certain caliber of beauty evokes true emotion in me. For example, every year when I watch the Victoria's Secret fashion show, I am brought to tears. As in, I CRY. From grammar and elementary school until this day, I have always had my own little running list of "it" girls who I thought were beyond beautiful and stood out from all the rest. I remember seeing them for the first time and being captivated. When I was very young, I loved: Model Yasmeen Ghauri

Jessica Alba on "Flipper"

Katherine Heigl in "My Father the Hero"

and again in "Wish Upon a Star"

VS Model Valeria Mazza

and Sarah Michelle Gellar

Then in high school I got really into exotic looking with dark hair and obsessed over:

Model Ines Rivero
Guess Model Megan Ewing (my best friends from my Junior/Senior year can attest that I stalked her. I wrote her fan mail once! UGH, I was the worst.)

Alessandra Ambrosio
Kate Beckinsale
and last but very not least, my all time favorite-

the one and only MARISA MILLER. I still have these issues of Shape! I bought two copies of each- one to cut up and hang pictures on my wall, and the other to keep FOREVERRRR.

Olivia Wilde in Skin- I was livid when that show was cancelled.

In my late teens/ early twenties, my attention turned toward:

Sienna Miller

Minka Kelly on "Friday Night Lights" I didn't like the show, so I just googled her a lot.

And in recent years:

Lily Collins
Kendall Jenner- when KUWTK first came out, I watched strictly for her.

Erin Featherton (mini Marisa Miller)

 Ashley Greene- I saw Twilight for the first time last year, and didn't notice her with that awful haircut, but seeing her in the tabloids now is the best.

And needless to say....with beauty transcending all of these time periods-MISS BRITNEY SPEARS. Ever since I heard "Hit Me Baby One More Time" for the fist time on Z100, my heart has belonged to her.

The reason for the history lesson was to set the stage for how I now feel about a girl whom I categorized with the rest of my favorites. I never watched "the X Factor," which is apparently the show she was discovered on, so I missed the memo on her when she debuted. But I was watching an older interview that she was in from London Fashion Week, and immediately googled her. I think she is the cute to the max!!

DIANA VICKERS 

Ah, I feel better now that I've gotten my guilty pleasures off of my chest. If you never hear from me again, it's because I read this out loud and then punched myself in the face.

"Our attitude towards others determines thier attitudes towards us." Earl Nightingale