I desperately wish I had God-awful vision.

I've been buying fake glasses since I was in 6th grade. I remember getting my first "Lisa Loeb " pair at Warehouse that my mom eventually hid because she thought they would cause me to go blind. Which, I suppose was inadvertently my plan so that I would actually need them. Kind of like this other seemingly self-destructive idea I had when I loved raspy voices so much that I used to scream at the top of my lungs out of the third story window of our house until I sounded like a 75 year old chain-smoker. Unfortunately, my subconscious scheme never panned out and to this day I still have exceptional eyesight. Bummer. Thankfully, there are people out there like me who don't think it's totally whack to pretend you can't see, and still manufacture faux spectacles! But don't worry mom, I'm not going to give myself cataracts, because now I just knock the lenses out and look like even more of a lunatic!

But to every thing there is a season, and this season things are gonna change. (Or however that quote goes)

The Lisa Loeb's had a good run . . .

The Nerdy Readers came and went . . .

But now, ladies and gentleman...Sally Jessy Raphael is back in the building!

And my inner fake plastic glasses connoisseur can barely wait for these little gems to come in the mail!

Oversized Round Readers: Urban Outfitters $14

These babies actually hold sentimental value to me, because these exact frames were a part of my very first memory from my life, EVER. I swear! On my second birthday, April 28th 1987- I vividly remember scooting down the steps on my bottom in footed pajamas when my mom came walking upstairs with the legit RED Sally Jessy's (complete with a bad perm, sorry Cindy) and said "Bethany, you're 2 today!," and handed me a pack of "days of the week" underpants. I suppose she was insinuating that it was time to skip town on the Huggies....but nevertheless, I n e v e r forgot those red glasses! And by the grace of UPS, soon I shall be donning mine. Isn't it wonderful how everything comes full circle?

But wait, there's more! As it turns out, Hogwart's was not just a place for little Warlock tweens to make-out under their invisible capes- it was a fashion house! Or it should've been, because in Spring 2011 it's all about the ill Harry Potter's! Well, maybe it won't be ALL about them, but I will sure have a pair. I've been keeping tabs on round sunglasses (like the ones in my post below) but I figured if I want to look like a son-of-a-witch during the day, then I might as well get a pair that I can wear at night. Hermione, you got nothin on me girl....

Urban Outfitters Harry Small Round Readers $10

To close this post with a tad of normalcy, I would like to point out that this pair of sunglasses are also cute. THE END.Ray-Ban Retro Cat Sunglasses $135

"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow mindedness." - Mark Twain

Spring Predictions

 Duster earrings: Aldo $10, Patent Leather Loafers: Forever 21 $24.80, Satin Rosette Turban: Topshop, Round Sunglasses: Asos $21.52

Name Dropping for Penny Pinchers.

This is not news to anyone, but ever since the success of Target's Go International collections, it seems every retailer and their mother is recruiting celebrities and designer labels to create less expensive/affordable merchandise for them. I guess these department stores finally got the memo that their clothes are butt ugly, and no young "trendy" girl with a disposable income wants to roll up to a party rocking a pair of "Dockers" or whatever the heck it is they're selling at Sears. I don't know why it took them so long to realize that cheap doesn't have to mean EYESORE, but the good news is- they have. For instance, once Wal-Mart jumped on this bandwagon I was a little skeptical. Should I really be buying Max Azria at the same place I can get cheez-whiz and an oil change?? Apparently, the answer is yes. Although I had to dig through a few pairs of acid wash glitter leggings (clearly designed by Miley herself), I found quality chambray denim shirts, cute ruffled rompers, and super soft slouchy pocket tee shirts. I have no problem saying that I now own about 10 Miley Cyrus/Max Azria items and I wear them more often than not.

Last year I got these pieces, and still wear them! Miley Cyrus /Max Azria Moto Jacket, Ikat Romper, Denim Button up (yee-haw!)

While good old Hannah Montana herself may have initially sparked my shopping at Walmart, the NORMA KAMALI line kept me there! When I first saw a rack with the words Norma Kamali at the top, I thought my baby blues were playing tricks on me! Okay, actually my eyes are more like muddy brown, but I swear they're green with some black eyeliner on a sunny day! (that's what I tell myself, annnd the lady at the DMV so she'd write "hazel" as my eye color on my license) Anyway- I cannot believe the quality of the clothing for the price. The line is true to form- she sticks to basic pieces in her staple blacks and greys, the clothes fit well, and are all priced around 20 bucks! Buuut, if you wait a week or two, the prices will drop as low as $3! I think this may just be the most underrated guest designer collection at any budget-friendly store. A perk (esp for label-snobs), is that unlike other featured designers who reiterate the fact that you can't afford their real clothes -by putting the cheapo store's name on the label (i.e. Isaac Mizrahi FOR Target, Proenza Schouler FOR Target etc) the tag just reads Norma Kamali and the size :) A month or two ago I got the "batwing cardigan" in grey, I get compliments on it all the time and I wear it almost everyday.Norma Kamali Black Trench, Utility Jacket, Batwing Cardigan (comes in 5 colors), Animal Print Sheath Dress, and Moto Jacket. Norma Kamali at Wal-Mart

A more recent collection is UK Style by French Connection at Sears. The first two pieces below are repeats from my older post, but they fall under this category too, and definitely haven't gotten any uglier:

Metallic Gold Bolero $59.90

NEXT Sheer red cropped blouse. (Not FCUK but a good find!) $47 Lace-up Skirt $24.90

(i picture this with a green and blue sailor striped sweater tucked in)

Utility Vest $39.90

Last but NOT least- Sequin Cheetah print mini dress $99.90 (temporarily sold out, but will be restocked)

Moving on...Kohl's. I don't live near one, and I don't think I've ever been. BUT! I DO have a computer, so let's shop! The two designer collections at Kohl's are- LC Lauren Conrad and Simply Vera by Vera Wang. The MSRP on the clothes isn't super cheap but I've noticed that the LC line is almost ALWAYS on sale.

Floral Tier Maxi Dress $60.00

Gold and Diamond Studs $8.40

Satin Butterfly Camisole $36.00

Simply Vera Round Sunglasses $34.00

Laser Cut Wristlet $39.00

 Drawstring Anorak (Good closet staple) $78.00

Dot and Ruffle Cardigan $64.00

Ruffle Jacket $78.00

 "A "No" uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble."- Ghandi

Into Fruition

I suppose my last few posts have motivated me to create this one in an attempt to display the fruits of my labor (and when I say labor, I mean checking my go-to websites incessantly to make sure my little love bugs are still available, or better yet- on sale!). As I have started to collect item by item from my wish lists, I found that from cart to closet, I've slowly but surely accumulated a whole new wardrobe! Looking at my pieces in their new home sweet home, I sigh and think "ahhh, a dream realized." Un Problema- I am the poster-child for all dressed up, no place to go. Being a wife and mother has drastically shifted my priorities for the better, so my social life (which embarrassingly enough was number one) has been replaced by weekends on the couch with my three very best friends watching episode after episode of Yo Gabba Gabba. Needless to say, I don't walk around my house in full makeup and suede 5" heels with two babies on my hips. Don't get me wrong, Alex and I partake in our fair share of outings where I have the opportunity to get dressed up and actually utilize my closet. However, it's no longer everyday that I enjoy my favorite past time- putting together an outfit. L-o-n-g story short, I felt the best way for me to justify purchasing clothes that I seldom wear, was to take pictures in them.
Because, let's get serious people- thanks to the phenomenon that is Facebook (a tabloid for civilians) if you weren't photographed in it, you never wore it. Period. Even though my low budget (well, no budget) project of enlisting my own husband to take pictures of me on my parents back porch is the LEAST big deal ever, I was oddly nervous. Trying to do my best Blue Steel in front of the person who sees me wake up every morning in a puddle of drool was more embarrassing and humbling than anything else. Not to mention, every time I did a costume change, Alex did his usual "what the hell are you wearing?" After the first dozen or so snaps though, we both started to loosen up and have fun with it, and I SAH-WEAR he even shockingly said "Can we do this for a living???" Mwahahahaa I've converted my little country fried steak into the next David LaChapelle. KIDDING, but without further ado...a small sampling from my makeshift /unaccessorized photo shoot:

ASOS Top, Blue Suede Fringe Heels & Leather Leggings

LULU'S Hat, VINTAGE Top, ASOS Leggings, FOREVER 21 Heels

ASOS Maxi, FOREVER 21 Raffia Belt

MILEY CYRUS/ MAX AZRIA Chambray Top, FOREVER 21 Floral Dress & Fedora, TARGET Flats

FOREVER 21 Bamboo Print Jumpsuit, TARGET Flats

MODCLOTH Dress, ASOS Heels

MODCLOTH Dress, HUE Tights, FOREVER 21 Heels

 "A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. And a woman must do what he can't."